they'll never find a happy home for you

Title lyric from 'My People' by The Presets.

I think this blog is going to have to become a place to put my rants out of necessity. Occasionally things happen that bring certain thoughts to the forefront of my mind, and I can't get anything worth doing done until I excise it--not a relevent blog post, not another few thousand words of novel, nothin'. So here we go.

I worked for the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animal--the RSPCA. You can find statistics about how many animals enter the RSPCA here (everyone can read PDF files, right? If not, just google Adobe Reader and download the free version.) Note that, excluding animals who were reclaimed by their original owners, the vast, vast majority of animals were euthanised. I wish there was some way animal rescue services could operate without euthanising animals, but there really isn't one. And even in death, these animals often go on to do things like act as training tools for vetinary students--which, if not the most dignified ending for a dog's corpse, is certainly a more productive option than many others.

Some of these animals are presumeably dumped for legitimate reasons, although I have no idea what those are. I do not believe any of the following are truly legitimate reasons: moving, pregnancy, allergies, sickness, or money problems on the part of the human, or behavioural problems caused by humans on the part of the animal.

The reason I disregard all reasons relating to humans are because, assuming you don't have a friend or family member who could take the dog, it costs next to nothing to advertise and sell an animal. I know for a fact that there are a lot of people who are looking for pets in the weekend paper, or on Craigslist, or any other local equivalents. The dog I currently own, who is lying next to me as I type and licking my foot, was picked up from someone running an ad for 'labrador puppies, $10' (yeah right) in the paper. A woman I work with picked up a pair of adorable Burmese kittens for some exorbitant sum by finding their breeder on Craigslist just the other week. You're not guaranteed to sell it, but even if your deadline does expire, you can always hand the animal off to a trusted friend who can then attempt to sell it on for you. (Admittedly this works a lot better with young animals, but it's not impossible to sell your older dog with some good advertising and a little presentation. A fair number of people prefer buying older dogs because they can, at least, control their bladder.) Hell, you can even print off or photocopy a few dozen flyers and stick them up along popular walking routes or in shopping malls. It's not hard.

When it comes to behavioural problems by animals, I have discovered one thing--about one percent of animals have an issue they were born with, like being incontinent or too aggressive. One percent of the time, there's nothing you can do about it. The rest of the time, it ain't the animal's fault. It is not hard to fix most behavioural problems in small animals. There are incredibly simple ways to stop your cat from peeing on the carpet, or your dog from barking excessively. Even if your dog bites or some other extreme form of behaviour (which, again, I almost always refuse to believe the people responsible for raising and training it did not cause, be it directly or indirectly) you can instantly solve the problem by buying a ten dollar muzzle and making the dog wear it in situations where he may bite! How cool is that?

Sigh.

I do know what it's like to have animals with issues that simply aren't your fault. I once rode a horse that had, ever since it was a foal, been headshy--for the non-horsey people reading, that means every time someone went near the horse's head, it flinched back and freaked out a little bit. There was no inciting incident, and no matter what we tried, nothing would get the horse to stand quietly while we were trying to put on his bridle or whatever. Eventually we managed to figure out a method of putting the bridle on one-handed while holding on the halter, and then taking the halter out from under the bridle, which we made sure to teach to the person hired to finish his training. However, I've also ridden a horse who was headshy because she needed her teeth floated, and one who was headshy because his previous owner used to smack him in forehead when he did something wrong, and one who was headshy because someone tried to teach him to rear on command and screwed it up badly.

I also believe animals that are dangerous and do not have the opportunity for extensive retraining should be put down. I wish there was someone out there willing to train dogs that attack without provocation to be nice family pets without wanting up to several thousand dollars for their services, but people like that simply don't exist a lot of the time.

But frankly, I believe dumping your animal is the worst thing you can do. It doesn't matter if it isn't euthanised, or isn't picked up by someone who fights dogs (I'm pretty sure this fate would befall my dog if she were ever dumped; while she's a labrador/staffy/boxer/ridgeback/golden retirever/bulldog/etc. mix, she does bear an awful resemblance to a pitbull.) It doesn't matter if the best family in the world comes and adopts your pet and gives all the love and training and treats it needs until the day it dies. You're still an asshat for dumping your pet. In an ideal world, the RSPCA would be there to find homes for stray animals, and only have to euthanise those with too many issues to find homes or those who are physically damaged and would require incredibly high-maintenance care to extend their life. But because people don't neuter their pets, or don't realise that the novelty of a Christmas gift tends to wear off, or decide they can't be arsed to catproof their baby's room when they get themselves knocked up, it's filled with animals that should really be other people's problems.

Please, please, if anyone's reading this who hasn't done this already: having an animal neutered is not a huge expense, it doesn't take very much aftercare at all, if they happen to be a working animal it has a very short recovery time, and it'll keep any little bundles of fluffy joy appearing unexpectedly. Moreover, take the time to go to some obedience classes--you can find them for as little as ten bucks for an hour or two of training--and teach your dog things like 'sit', 'stay', and 'come'. I'd also suggest locking in your pets at night, for a whole host of reasons. If you have a purebred that consistently wins at dog shows, is extremely well-trained, has never been responsible for a mutt puppy, whose introduction to the gene pool will improve the breed--more power to you! Your dog can keep his balls. But make sure he is never responsible for a mutt puppy, and make sure the bitches you breed him to are as high quality as he is, or higher.

For the record, a brief history of my pets: two budgies named Blue and Green, two show-winning purebred Chow Chows named Leo and Bear (technically my uncle's, but they lived with us a lot of the time,) two cats picked up from the RSPCA named Rupert and Daisy, a lizard named Saffron, two mice named Bubble and Squeak, briefly an extremely elderly cockatoo my friend couldn't keep anymore named Charleton, and--currently my only pet--the aforementioned ten dollar mutt, Honey. I'm also in the market for a horse, but will probably not be buying any until some time next year. I have never dumped an animal and never will--unless by some mischance I find an actual, legitimate reason for it. I doubt that will ever happen.

I don't currently have room in my life for another dog, or I'd adopt a few dozen from the RSPCA. Just for the record, adopting and hoarding more than you can keep is just as bad as actively abusing them.